Hello friends 😊
I hope things are flowing and you're getting the most out of this Summer!
This time, I am writing you from the beach in Portugal - I'm staying here for a week, enjoying the calming and soothing effects of the sunshine and the ocean with my family.
I get to see my family 2-3 times a year. As my parents grow older and wiser, I feel how important it is to visit them when possible. Family plays a significant role in our lives, but it is not always easy to sustain a close and balanced relationship with our upbringers. Sometimes because of constraints of time or geographical location, but also and so many times, because of unresolved confilcts or traumas from our youth.
Personally, I have forgiven my parents for all their human, comprehensible, well-intended mistakes. I don't know if it was a conscious or unconscious choice, but I can say it happened a while ago, and that my meditation practice was very important and truly helped in the process.
Today, I deeply admire people who choose to have children, because I can sense how challenging and life-changing it can be for an individual or a couple. The more I talk to friends who have decided to bring children into our world, the more I admire my parents for their unconditional love and support, strenuous dedication and commitment.
Still, sometimes, when I get to spend some time with them, I need to be quite careful and alert with what I think, say and do. Because our bond is a very deep and authentic one, there might be conversations, observations or attitudes from their part that trigger some unconscious reactions in me. Luckily, and I believe, thanks to meditation, those reactions appear mostly in the form of thoughts that tend to disappear rather quickly, and not as spoken words, judgements or actions.
Between stimulus and response, there is a space.
Reacting is a natural response deeply ingrained in our human psyche. When faced with challenging situations or conflicting emotions, our instinctive reaction is often to fight, flee, or freeze. These knee-jerk reactions can manifest as impulsive words, hasty judgments, or rash actions, which may not align with our true values or intentions.
But between stimulus and response, there is a space.
The space of non-reactivity.
Not reacting, is a conscious choice to pause and observe before responding. It involves cultivating self-awareness and emotional intelligence, allowing us to break free from the cycle of reactivity and act from a place of mindfulness and wisdom.
Benefits of Not Reacting
Clarity and Discernement
By observing our thoughts and emotions without immediately acting upon them, we gain a deeper understanding of our own triggers and patterns. This self-awareness empowers us to make conscious choices based on our values rather than being driven by automatic reaction.
Emotional Regulation
Instead of being carried away by a tidal wave of anger, frustration, or anxiety, we can acknowledge and validate our emotions while choosing a more balanced response. By cultivating emotional intelligence, we develop resilience and the ability to navigate difficult situations with composure and grace.
Improved Relationships
By taking a moment to pause and understand before responding, we foster healthier communication and deeper connections. When we approach conflicts or disagreements with a mindful and non-reactive mindset, we create an environment that promotes understanding, empathy, and compassion.
Self-Empowerment
Not reacting empowers us to take control of our lives and responses. Rather than being at the mercy of external circumstances or the whims of our emotions, we become active participants in shaping our reality. By choosing our responses consciously, we can break free from old patterns, transcend limitations, and cultivate a sense of inner peace and freedom.
Meditation and Non-Reactivity
The power of not reacting lies within each one of us.
As we cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness through the practice of meditation, we unlock the ability to respond consciously and authentically to the world around us. Let us embrace this power, allowing it to bring us inner peace, meaningful connections, and a greater sense of empowerment.
Wishing you a mindful and non-reactive weekend ahead!
Love,
Tati
Such an inspiring observation about not reacting before thinking about the situation and deciding the best action to take. Thanks Tati💫